Being persuasive is a valuable skill that can open doors in both your personal and professional life. Whether you’re trying to win over clients, convince colleagues, or get your friends on board with an idea, knowing how to influence others effectively can make all the difference.
However, persuasion isn’t about manipulation or forcing your will upon others. It’s about understanding human psychology and communicating in ways that resonate with people.
Psychology experts agree that the most persuasive people aren’t just born with the ability to influence others. They follow specific strategies that make them more convincing without being pushy.
From the words they choose to the way they frame their arguments, these individuals have mastered the art of persuasion. So, what exactly do they do differently?
Let’s dive into the nine things that the most persuasive people always do when talking to others, according to psychology experts.
1. Use “You” More Than “I”
The most persuasive people know that focusing on the listener is key. They use the word “you” more than “I” when communicating. Why is this effective? It’s because people like to feel acknowledged and important.
By addressing someone directly with “you,” you make your message personal and relevant to them. This simple shift in language signals that you are considering their needs, interests, and feelings.
When people feel that you genuinely care about them, they are more open to hearing what you have to say and are more likely to be persuaded by your arguments.
Even in group settings, using “you” can make a huge difference. It turns a general message into something that feels more intimate and relatable.
This technique, known as the “generic you,” makes your audience feel as though you’re speaking directly to each of them individually, even when addressing a large group.
In both one-on-one conversations and public speaking, making your language personal can enhance your ability to persuade.
2. Incorporate “We” and “Us” to Build Unity
Another key strategy that persuasive people use is incorporating inclusive language like “we” and “us.” When you position yourself as part of the team or group, you create a sense of unity.
This makes others feel like you are working together toward a common goal, rather than just trying to push your own agenda.
Words like “we,” “us,” and “our” foster collaboration and make others feel that their opinions and contributions matter.
When people feel included, they are more likely to align with your perspective because they see it as a joint effort.
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This technique is especially effective in team settings or when trying to build consensus. By framing your communication as a shared journey, you reduce resistance and make your ideas more appealing.
3. Address People by Name
Using someone’s name in conversation might seem like a small detail, but it can have a significant impact on your persuasiveness.
People love hearing their own names—it makes them feel seen and valued. When you address someone by name, you show that you are paying attention to them as an individual, not just treating them as part of the crowd.
This personal touch can make people more receptive to your message because it signals respect and recognition.
However, it’s important not to overdo it. Overusing someone’s name can come across as insincere or manipulative.
The key is to find a balance—use their name enough to make them feel acknowledged but not so much that it feels forced.
When used appropriately, this technique can strengthen your connection with others and increase your ability to persuade.
4. Repeat Key Points, But Vary Your Approach
Repetition can be a powerful tool in persuasion, but it’s important to do it in the right way. Persuasive people often repeat their key points, but they do so by varying their approach.
Instead of sounding like a broken record, they find different ways to reiterate the same idea. This technique helps to reinforce their message without coming across as repetitive or boring.
Repetition makes your message stick in the listener’s mind, and by presenting it in different ways, you keep the conversation engaging.
This method also allows you to clarify your point and address any potential misunderstandings. The more familiar a concept becomes, the more likely people are to accept it, making this a powerful strategy in persuasive communication.
5. Avoid Statistics and Make It Personal
While data and statistics can be important, persuasive people know that numbers alone don’t always convince people. Instead of relying on abstract concepts, they make their arguments personal by sharing stories or examples that people can relate to.
Stories about real people are often more compelling than dry facts and figures. When you make it personal, your message becomes more relatable and easier to understand.
People are naturally drawn to stories because they evoke emotions and make the information more memorable.
By illustrating your points with real-life examples, you can create a stronger emotional connection with your audience. This makes your message more impactful and increases your chances of persuading others.
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6. Use “Power Words” to Evoke Emotion
Words have power, and persuasive people know how to choose their words carefully. They use “power words” that evoke strong emotions and make their message more compelling.
Words like “proven,” “easy,” and “new” can trigger positive reactions and make people more likely to agree with you. These words can subtly influence how people feel about your message without them even realizing it.
The specific power words you use will depend on the situation and what you’re trying to achieve. In sales and advertising, power words are often used to make a product or service more appealing.
But they can also be effective in everyday conversations when you want to persuade someone to see things your way. By carefully selecting words that resonate emotionally, you can enhance your persuasive abilities.
7. Ask Rhetorical Questions to Engage Thinking
Rhetorical questions are a favorite tool of persuasive speakers. These are questions that don’t require an answer but are designed to make the listener think.
When you ask a rhetorical question, you engage the listener’s imagination and guide them toward the conclusion you want them to reach.
This subtle technique makes people feel like they’ve arrived at the idea on their own, which can make them more likely to accept it.
By prompting people to think more deeply about your message, rhetorical questions can make your argument more convincing.
They encourage active participation in the conversation, even if the listener isn’t verbally responding. This technique helps to create a mental connection between your ideas and the listener’s thoughts, making your message more persuasive.
8. Follow Up With a “Because” Clause
One of the most effective ways to persuade someone is to explain your reasoning with a “because” clause. After making your main point, follow up with a reason that justifies your request or argument.
For example, “I need you to do this because…” or “This idea will work because…” Providing a rationale helps people understand the logic behind your request, making them more likely to agree with you.
Research has shown that people are more likely to comply with a request when they hear the word “because.”
Even if the explanation isn’t particularly strong, the fact that you’ve provided a reason can make your argument seem more valid.
This technique taps into human psychology, making people more open to persuasion simply because they feel your request is justified.
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9. Use Cause-and-Effect Language to Strengthen Your Argument
Persuasive people often use cause-and-effect language to make their arguments more compelling. Words and phrases like “accordingly,” “therefore,” “since,” and “for this reason” help to create a logical flow in your communication.
This type of language makes your argument seem more structured and rational, which can make people more inclined to agree with you.
Cause-and-effect language shows that your ideas are well thought out and that there is a logical reason behind them.
When people see that your argument follows a clear and reasonable pattern, they are more likely to accept it. This technique adds credibility to your message and enhances your ability to persuade others.